it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize