We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize