Your tits are I can't wait for
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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