all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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