tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
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