I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
