38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
