That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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