saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
did i walk over a car last night?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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