she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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