He kissed a someone with a penis
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
