i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
