I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
