Can Purell be used as lube?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
