Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
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Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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