That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
