Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
