It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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