After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
