I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
