I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
