well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
