Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize