OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
