But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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