My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
