I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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