Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
