the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Panties = found
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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