While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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