I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
