She said her name was "party"
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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