Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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