So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
