The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
