Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
PANTIES FOUND
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