p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
