I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
