The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
