I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
