i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize