Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
