Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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