apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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