Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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