I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Acid is not a monday night drug
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
