Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
