My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I cut my penus on the lid.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
