someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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