i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
