return my video game
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just threw up on my dentist
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
