I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
