There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
