What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We left an ass print on the piano.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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