:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
