i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im six kinds of drunk right now
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
