Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
