He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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