Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So here I am, sexting at work.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
