Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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