I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
