It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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