i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
